Today I met with 2 doctors, one was a radiologist oncologist and the other was a neurosurgeon. The two doctors often work together to come to an agreement about a treatment plan. Meeting with them, I was told and shown the images of the 5 tiny spots of tumors they saw on my latest brain MRI. I met with Dr. G first and she really scared me about recommending whole brain radiation if they were to see more tumor spots on my brain. And then I met with Dr. Chang and he was alot more confident with recommending the Cyberknife radiation procedure. Both Doctors though agree that I should follow the usual procedure of first getting a more accurate, closer up CT or MRI done so that they can clearly see at a more precise needle point if there are anymore tiny spots. My recent brain MRI done a week ago were not at fine needle point imaging and so I have to get another one done soon, pending insurance approval.
So, yes, five tiny pencil dot size spots, except one is the size of about 3 mm. I hope they don't see anymore spots on the next close up scan and that I just get the Cyberknife procedure or else with the whole brain radiation, the side effects are huge, like loosing all of my hair, developing slight cognitive, memory, speech and much more serious damage besides the fatigue, headaches and loss of appetite. Whew..this is all so scary and hearing all of this, it's devastating news. But, Dr Chang is really positively leaning towards Cyberknife and that he says, most of the time, it gets rid of the tumors 95% of the time and it wouldn't reoccur, except I would have to get more routine 3 month follow scans for the year to monitor it's stableness. So, I'm keeping my hopes up that this is all they will see at the close up scan.
After my appointment, I went back to work and told the news to my team members. I try to state the facts and to stay mellow, calm and collective but I can almost see the tears silently breaking down on everyone. It's hard, living with this cancer and it's hard for everyone else too who cares about me to hear this news. Some days it's harder to endure but I have to keep my chin up and live life to the fullest and as normal as I can.
As for my nagging bone pain, the radiologist doesn't recommend doing any radiation on it at all and suggest pain meds. Hmm, so far, I'm starting to not like this new relationship with this radiologist. For now, it's not bothering that much and so I'll just handle one thing at a time.
I'm back to chemo this Wednesday. Augh, the constant poking with needles, scans, chemo, radiation, doctor appointments. I just wish all of this would just go away and I'm in good health again. Can you tell, I just hate all of this. I hate being sick, having cancer, and worst of all, I hate knowing that I'm going to die from this lung cancer some day and leave me kids motherless...this can't really be happening..but it is. Sometimes I forget that I am terminally ill.
The kids are well and my love for them is endlessly more each day. They are growing up so fast. I came home from work today and see that Ethan did all of his Kumon math homework by myself! He just completely did all of it, even the addition math part. And the girls, they're just getting super adorable and smarter each day, talking more and more. Lots of Love.
So, yes, five tiny pencil dot size spots, except one is the size of about 3 mm. I hope they don't see anymore spots on the next close up scan and that I just get the Cyberknife procedure or else with the whole brain radiation, the side effects are huge, like loosing all of my hair, developing slight cognitive, memory, speech and much more serious damage besides the fatigue, headaches and loss of appetite. Whew..this is all so scary and hearing all of this, it's devastating news. But, Dr Chang is really positively leaning towards Cyberknife and that he says, most of the time, it gets rid of the tumors 95% of the time and it wouldn't reoccur, except I would have to get more routine 3 month follow scans for the year to monitor it's stableness. So, I'm keeping my hopes up that this is all they will see at the close up scan.
After my appointment, I went back to work and told the news to my team members. I try to state the facts and to stay mellow, calm and collective but I can almost see the tears silently breaking down on everyone. It's hard, living with this cancer and it's hard for everyone else too who cares about me to hear this news. Some days it's harder to endure but I have to keep my chin up and live life to the fullest and as normal as I can.
As for my nagging bone pain, the radiologist doesn't recommend doing any radiation on it at all and suggest pain meds. Hmm, so far, I'm starting to not like this new relationship with this radiologist. For now, it's not bothering that much and so I'll just handle one thing at a time.
I'm back to chemo this Wednesday. Augh, the constant poking with needles, scans, chemo, radiation, doctor appointments. I just wish all of this would just go away and I'm in good health again. Can you tell, I just hate all of this. I hate being sick, having cancer, and worst of all, I hate knowing that I'm going to die from this lung cancer some day and leave me kids motherless...this can't really be happening..but it is. Sometimes I forget that I am terminally ill.
The kids are well and my love for them is endlessly more each day. They are growing up so fast. I came home from work today and see that Ethan did all of his Kumon math homework by myself! He just completely did all of it, even the addition math part. And the girls, they're just getting super adorable and smarter each day, talking more and more. Lots of Love.
I wish you didn't have cancer too Fawn. I pray that the scans don't show anymore than the 5 spots you currently have. I pray that they do the cyberknife and zap those spots away. I pray that your lung tumor continues to remain stable. Prolong,prolong,prolong and one day at a time. Hugs my friend.
ReplyDeleteHey Fawn, be strong. My mom too diagnosed with NSCLC. She too has a few spots in her brain but oncologist suggest to do radiotherapy for the whole brain as it is impossible to cyberknife all the spots. She is recuperating well. Not much side effects luckily she is taking TCM to supplement it. I did share with you via email recently to your GMail. My email is alexymsiew@gmail.com. No worries.
ReplyDeleteCyberknife is the best remedy for any cancerous infection. Cyberknife can deliver radiation with an extraordinary precision saving the surrounding critical organs of unnecessary exposure.
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