Results of Brain MRI - setback

After getting up way early in the morning at 6 AM last Wednesday, on 3/13/13 to drive up to Stanford for my 7 AM appointment for the my routine 3 month brain MRI follow up scan and checkup, I was saddened to receive the devastating news that the cancer in my brain is now back. What a set back. Disappointment, disbelief. Immediately, I quietly held back the tears that would have engulfed and overwhelmed me. Calmly with every effort, I  intelligently asked what treatment options and side effects would be.
Looking at the MRI images side by side from Dec 2012 to March 2013, the team of doctors (all 3 doctors, Dr. G, Dr. D, and Dr. C), all pointed out the 5 new tumor spots that are popping up now. With my own eyes, we looked through each scan and counted all 5 spots. Their overwhelming recommendation  was, whole brain radiation (WBR). They continued with telling me, "We held out not doing this whole brain radiation last year," and now, this time, this would be the most ideal time to choose this option, as this would be the most effective option. Since last year, I've already had 2 Cyberknife treatments and new spots are now coming up every 3 to 6 months, Dr. G says, so, "whole brain would be more effective at treating and preventing anymore future tumor spots that the MRI is not able to pick up."
The side effects, well, I already knew, hair loss, fatigued and in some small percentage of patients, a chance of cognitive, memory loss, especially verbal memory and skin rash.  To prevent the memory loss, they tell me about prescribing me this drug call memantine (Namenda).  This drug according to the NCI (National Cancer Instititue), has already been approved to help improve cognition in some patients with dementia and also may limit declines in memory and cognitive function in patients who are undergoing whole-brain radiation therapy (WBRT) to treat cancer that has spread to the brain.

Feeling overwhelmed , shock and sadness, by 11 AM, I headed onwards to complete a few errands and taking my kids to Kumon and baseball/teeball practice at our local little league. Again, I feel a sense of hopelessness.  It's awful, this disease.  So, WBR it is. By midday, I told the news to my hubby and a few friends. I also readily planned ahead and dialed into the local American Cancer Society to get information on where I can pick up and get fitted for a wig. Stanford has free wig pick ups on the first Thursdays of each month. But, my treatment is starting tomorrow. I am a planner and preparer.  Swiftly, I dialed a few places for free wigs in anticipation of loosing my hair in the next few weeks.

3 weeks treatment or 15 WBR treatments
The treatment plan is that I will get 15 sessions or 3 weeks of back to back treatment.  Treatment would last anywhere from 5 - 10 minutes per day. I've already started the fitting of the mask and images yesterday and my first official treatment kicks off tomorrow. I made calls into Dr. N, my primary oncologist.  And surprisingly, I am allowed to continue taking Xalkori during this WBR radiation treatment. At first, I was told to hold off talking it and resume it afterwards, but we agreed today to give it a try to continue for this week and see.  I will have to do a follow up check in with Dr. Neal next Friday and we'll discuss more about whether to continue it while I'm halfway through the WBR treatment.  

Onwards
Having what I have, I know to expect the unexpected. It's hell. But, I keep living life to fullest. Enjoy every moment. Living for each and everyday. Lots of Love.