Lately I've been feeling just a bit weak and can feel bits of dull bone pain as well as the rattling in my lung. It's hard to tell what whether its the chemo or the cancer making me feel weak as chemo does suppress my bone marrow. It could be both. Living with Lung cancer, it's hard and things can change unexpectedly. I'm keeping busy as usual with the everyday errands and kids activity despite the bits of nagging bone pain. I'll be going back to Stanford tomorrow for the usual blood draws, Dr. Neal appointment and chemo infusion tomorrow early first thing in the morning. Depending on my blood counts, I may or may not get the Gemzar chemo. Hopefully I get it so that it can help fight off the tumors.
Kids so Attached
Since I've been home with the kids for this year, the girls have been so super attached to me and it's hard to get away for just small amounts of time or errands without them crying and looking for me for the whole time I'm gone. I'm worried about them as always on their well being and care if I'm not here. Unlucky for us, my family isn't much help with the kids nor can offer to care for them. My nanny does try to console them to calm them down but sometimes all they want is either Mommy or Daddy. The constant non stop hour long screaming and crying, it can drive all of us crazy. It's easy though for me to fall trap to their cries of attachment, but it's good for them to build confidence to be on their own with another care giver.
Dance & Gymnastics
This past weekend, the girls started their tap/ballet class and Ethan did his gymnastics class. They loved it. I'm glad they like it as it's a great way for them to get some physical exercise and get out of the house. Although we do almost daily walks with the dogs, they still get a bit bored at home, always wanting to watch cartoons on my Ipad or TV. It's great they are liking their classes.
Another friend lost to Lung Cancer
Since I can't always regularly attend the Stanford Cancer support group nor the Living Room http://jglcf.org/LungCancerLivingRoomo.aspx , I do follow along a few Lung cancer survivors blogs as a way to stay connected to those with the same lung cancer as me. I'm sad to learn that Rob lost his battle recently. His journey at http://rkmoore.wordpress.com/ is heartbreakingly well written and touching. It's maddening that Lung Cancer takes away so many lives. My small world of Lung cancer survivors who has given me hope is dwindling. It's a harsh reality and reminder to me that one day Lung cancer will take its toll on me too.
But for now, let's keep up hopes and prayers that I'll be here as long as I can, for the kids sake.
Other than bits of aches here and there, I'm doing well. Lots of Love.
Kids so Attached
Since I've been home with the kids for this year, the girls have been so super attached to me and it's hard to get away for just small amounts of time or errands without them crying and looking for me for the whole time I'm gone. I'm worried about them as always on their well being and care if I'm not here. Unlucky for us, my family isn't much help with the kids nor can offer to care for them. My nanny does try to console them to calm them down but sometimes all they want is either Mommy or Daddy. The constant non stop hour long screaming and crying, it can drive all of us crazy. It's easy though for me to fall trap to their cries of attachment, but it's good for them to build confidence to be on their own with another care giver.
Dance & Gymnastics
This past weekend, the girls started their tap/ballet class and Ethan did his gymnastics class. They loved it. I'm glad they like it as it's a great way for them to get some physical exercise and get out of the house. Although we do almost daily walks with the dogs, they still get a bit bored at home, always wanting to watch cartoons on my Ipad or TV. It's great they are liking their classes.
Another friend lost to Lung Cancer
Since I can't always regularly attend the Stanford Cancer support group nor the Living Room http://jglcf.org/LungCancerLivingRoomo.aspx , I do follow along a few Lung cancer survivors blogs as a way to stay connected to those with the same lung cancer as me. I'm sad to learn that Rob lost his battle recently. His journey at http://rkmoore.wordpress.com/ is heartbreakingly well written and touching. It's maddening that Lung Cancer takes away so many lives. My small world of Lung cancer survivors who has given me hope is dwindling. It's a harsh reality and reminder to me that one day Lung cancer will take its toll on me too.
But for now, let's keep up hopes and prayers that I'll be here as long as I can, for the kids sake.
Other than bits of aches here and there, I'm doing well. Lots of Love.
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