Letters to My Kids

Legacy Letters
With a little bit of free time, I've managed to start writing letters to my kids.  Below is the start of my first letter of many that I will be writing to them.  I have so much to explain, advice to give and wisdom to share to all my kids.  Recently I started reading a book by Maya Angelo, called Letter to my Daughter so that I can be inspired from her work. 

I know this letter is long, but I'd thought I'd share it with everyone so that you know how much I love my kids.  I hope they don't mind it as it's just my way to shout out loud to the whole word, my true love and care for my kids.  These letters will be sort of "Legacy letters" which will be given to them when they are old enough to read.  My goal is write to them as many letters as I can to help them navigate through life.

Dear Ethan, Ellen, Emma,

I’ve been planning to write to all of you ever since your Father and I have found out from Doctors that Mommy is sick.  If you are reading this, I hope all three of you are old enough now to understand what happened to Mommy and are ready to know that even though Mommy is not here that Mommy loves you all very  much.  Know that each of you will always be in Mommy’s heart. 

I am sorry that I am not here now to be here with you and watch you grow but Mommy did try all she can to fight to be here but cancer is mysterious and it’s no fault of anyone’s that I’m not here.  I am sorry that you have to go through this loss and have to experience grief and death at such young ages.  Please know that we all prayed for a miracle. Everyone including you, Ethan and Ellen, helped prayed daily and that everyone also, our family, friends and even community members from all over the area and country also helped prayed for Mommy’s miracle to happen so that I can be here with you for a long time.  A miracle did happen along the way since Mommy was able to spend every minute onward, from February 2011 onwards to be with you at every moment until now.  The time we spent together has been amazing and a blessing. 

I wanted to tell each of you that I love you all so very much it hurts.  Each one of you is so very special to Mommy and every moment that I was able to hold you, hug you and share with you, from the time you were born to the very moment I left, has been so full of joy and happiness.  I am so blessed to have you in my life, for the bond I have for each of you as a Mother has been the greatest, most special love and gift ever.  Remember my love for you always and use Mommy’s love as a source of strength to lean on when you need it.

I wish I can be here forever to see each of you grow up to incredible, mature, successful adults but know that  if I am not that I will always be there for you in your hearts.  Please don’t be overcome with sadness when you find out that Mommy’s not here.  It’s ok to let your feelings of sadness and grief out for a little bit, don’t keep it all bottled inside.  Cry when you need to so that you can feel better. But, don’t be overwhelm with sadness and don’t shutdown.  My wish for each one of you and your Father is to continue on living life with as much joy and happiness.  Continue to follow your dreams, do what bring you inner peace, joy, happiness and always, follow your dreams and aspirations. 

Remember that life is beautiful.  Continue to work hard at everything you want to achieve. Dream big dreams for Mommy and strive for the very best that life has to offer. 

Along the path to success in life, each of you will experience your own mistakes, heartbreaks or disappointments but don’t let these stop you from growing stronger for these experiences will help you grow.  See any pains you will experience as rites of passage or growing pains that will teach you valuable life lessons to help you mature into great individuals.

Everything in life has its own lifetime or destiny and purpose. So know that Mommy’s life had its time and purpose too.  Specifically, being the best Mother that I can be to each of you has always been the meaning to Mommy’s life.  Know that I have always prioritized each of you on the top of the list of everyday and in everything.  From the moment that each of you were born into this world, Mommy did all she could to help provide for you with all the love, comforts, security, opportunities and happiness that life has to offer.

Each of you, now ages, 1, 3 and 4 years old are all so special and sweet to hug, held and love. You are all so very young and beautiful.  I know it’s hard for you to grasp what is happening to Mommy but know that everything that could be done is being done for more time to be around you.  In the hopes of explaining everything, treasuring all the moments we have together, I have left for you lots of wonderful legacy photographs, legacy video and blog journals to look back and remember. 

Even though I may not be for here to see and watch you grow, my hope is that I will always be in your memory and that what I’ve accomplished so far will help pave a path towards a better, brighter future and foundation for you.  Specifically, some of the goals that I have been working hard to achieve so far have been to secure a good home for you.  Your Father and I have looked long and hard to sell, relocate and buy a comfortable good home in an area with great schools so that each of you can grow up in.  We moved a few time so that we can provide to each of you the best education.  We’ve made lots of sacrifices to be able to provide the best for each of you and so I hope you each will value education as much as we do.   Remember to always excel in school as education will be the key to a your future.

I know that growing up will be hard and will be a bit of a struggle later on without me being here to help you along the way. But know that I will always be there for you in spirit and will be there every step to support and watch out for you.  Always believe in yourself and keep being strong in life.   I hope that seeing how precious life is and that experiencing my mortality at such young ages at some point will strengthen your soul and deepen your appreciation for life.

Besides wishing that each of you and your Father find your individual happiness and to value education as the key to your future, my other wish is that you each support one another other through all the good and bad experiences that life will take you. Please take time out to share, celebrate and rejoice in each moment with each other.  There will tough times ahead.  So love each other like I love each of you and be there for one another.

Love you always and forever more,

Your Mommy