So the day that I was supposed to get my 3rd round of Alimpta chemo infusion, even though my blood labs were good, Dr. Neal, on Friday December 2, 2016, advised, based on my health condition that my stomach pain increased, my inability to keep food down, vomiting and fatigue as well as insomnia, and me heading back into ER and being admitted into the Stanford hospital for the second time for fluid pleurodesis from my stomach, that it was time for me to be placed under hospice care. We talked about me taking taking time off to spend quality of time with my family and that it was better than having to endure side effects and pain of chemo. He cried, the entire team one by one came in, from nurses to staff hugged me and cried. They assured me that once and if I feel better, I can always call back and tell him that I'm feeling much better and that I was ready to get treatment again. My brother Hon and his wife, Nary have been such a big help driving me and taking on shifts from my hubby to take over my ER/hospitalization visits and visiting every night since I've been in and out at the hospital the past month. In total I have stayed in the Stanford Hospital at first for 9 days and a week later, admitted back in the following week for complications from fluid buildup for an additional 4 days. During the 2 hospitalizations, I had my brothers and friends come by to visit almost every day to povide support and love. Thank you for coming by to visit, bringing bouquet of flowers, food and Bubba drinks. Thanks to my sister Veronica for bringing me alternative/herbal medication as well as Alvin and Tam for their endless love and support. Thanks to my mom to come to visit me at home almost on a daily basis to cook for me and praying for me. My Mom cried a lot when she found out that I'm on hospice, but keeps up prayers and hope for me to be alive as long as possible.
So, it's been 2 weeks since I've been on hospice care and it's been nice staying at home to recuperate and getting much needed rests and recuperation from the endoscopy surgeries. I must be honest, I can be only be grateful for the past 5 years, 10 months that I've been given to survive this stage 4 lung cancer when originally my prognosis was 2 to 6 months to live. The past month's pain was so unbearable that I knew my body was breaking down and the my body was slowly nearing the end of life. I am very sadden to hear this news of end of treatment and that death is pending soon. But I have accepted my inevitable upcoming death. I have accepted that I am in the process of dying and I hope for a peaceful death. At first, when I was admitted into the hospital, I thought it would up to only a few days and that I would be released. However, the recovery process ended taking much more. Initially I had planned to go back to work right before Thanksgiving to work, but it turned that was not possible with my declining to health. Hence, I had to submit my claim for a short disability leave. So, as was told from Dr. Neal, with tears and hugs from him, he nicely also conference called my hubby, my brother Alvin and Hon over the phone, he again, repeated the news to them about me entering hospice effective immediately and that I am in declining health and treatment will end. He said it time I consider quality of life instead of suffering more agony and chemo harsh side effects of treatment. It's been 2 weeks since I've been on hospice care and I am in a good place to have 24/7 care where a nurse comes to check on me twice per week and comes as needed. In addition, they have delivered a hospital bed, a table, a handy wheel chair and a walker. They've have increased my level of pain medication dosage as needed to keep me comfortable and pain free. I hope I do get better each day since I am praying hard to keep life going for my kids, family and friends. Life is so precious and I hope to be alive for a long while longer. Please pray for me and keep me and my family in your thoughts. I love you all for following my blog and your support.Lots of hugs, Fawn.
So, it's been 2 weeks since I've been on hospice care and it's been nice staying at home to recuperate and getting much needed rests and recuperation from the endoscopy surgeries. I must be honest, I can be only be grateful for the past 5 years, 10 months that I've been given to survive this stage 4 lung cancer when originally my prognosis was 2 to 6 months to live. The past month's pain was so unbearable that I knew my body was breaking down and the my body was slowly nearing the end of life. I am very sadden to hear this news of end of treatment and that death is pending soon. But I have accepted my inevitable upcoming death. I have accepted that I am in the process of dying and I hope for a peaceful death. At first, when I was admitted into the hospital, I thought it would up to only a few days and that I would be released. However, the recovery process ended taking much more. Initially I had planned to go back to work right before Thanksgiving to work, but it turned that was not possible with my declining to health. Hence, I had to submit my claim for a short disability leave. So, as was told from Dr. Neal, with tears and hugs from him, he nicely also conference called my hubby, my brother Alvin and Hon over the phone, he again, repeated the news to them about me entering hospice effective immediately and that I am in declining health and treatment will end. He said it time I consider quality of life instead of suffering more agony and chemo harsh side effects of treatment. It's been 2 weeks since I've been on hospice care and I am in a good place to have 24/7 care where a nurse comes to check on me twice per week and comes as needed. In addition, they have delivered a hospital bed, a table, a handy wheel chair and a walker. They've have increased my level of pain medication dosage as needed to keep me comfortable and pain free. I hope I do get better each day since I am praying hard to keep life going for my kids, family and friends. Life is so precious and I hope to be alive for a long while longer. Please pray for me and keep me and my family in your thoughts. I love you all for following my blog and your support.Lots of hugs, Fawn.
Hi Fawn,
ReplyDeleteI just happened to stumble upon your story and It broke my heart to see what you and your family have to go through. It is life, and we all will get there regarless but It still hurts to see how much you have to endure! I'm too a mother of 3. I only want you to know that your braveness to continue to fight this war teaches me to treasure life so much more! Please stay strong Fawn, and I hope God will grand his greatest miracle upon you and your family to heal quickly!! Mimi