My Birthday

Yesterday the kids and I celebrated my 36 Birthday with a yummy burnt almond cake that my husband and kids picked up along the way when he picked up Ellen from preschool. We didn't go out to celebrate but even just singing Happy Birthday and having them blow out the candles was just precious.

My sore throat is much better today and I'm feeling better. I can tell though that with a chemo body, I do feel weaker and my energy level is a bit low. But, as usual feeling a bit under the weather doesn't keep me from doing the routine things with the kids, like heading out shopping for things for the kids classes at Walmart and running errands (grocery shopping, picking up the kids from school).  Over the next few days, I have to find time to plan out the details of our Disneyland trip and hopefully I'll get it all done soon. With three kids, even with a little nanny help, I'm always so busy and it's hard to find time for myself and or even get to my To Do List.

Having late stage lung cancer, since there are no cure, I know my odds of living more than a year, two, three, four, five or more years are very slim and so time is of the essence to do what I must do for my kids.  And so I have to really find time to complete my To Do list.  Some of the to do list are simple things, like writing letters to my kids, doing more video recordings of me and the kids, burning a photo CD and picking songs to send to the Legacy Video Life Chronicles team that helped record my legacy video. It's always so busy though with 3 kids, so there's never a dull, free moment. 

I'm scared though to know my fate and that even with all the hope and prayers, I do feel a sence of hopelessness and sadness. But a I have met some survivors who have lived with it beyond 5 years but that's so rare. And so with having just celebrated my 36 Birthday, I hope there's more birthdays to come. Here's to my wish of continued stability and better health. Lots of Love.