Thanks to Friends!

Finally Unpacked, thanks to Friends!

It's been a few weeks since I've have some down time to update everyone on how I am doing. Well, I've been super busy now since the kids have started school and been busy with the unpacking into the house.

This past weekend, thanks to some awesome team of close friends, they all came to help us organize and pack all of our stuff into our house! We're so incredibly lucky and fortunate to have Kim coordinate and recruit all my friends from all over the bay area to come help us finally put beds together and organize stuff into the house. Thanks also to those who couldn't make it but were able to either send over pizza and or donate to the cost of the movers to help us with the heavy items. We can't thank everyone enough for their enormous help, time and love to come support us! We couldn't have done any unpacking without our wonderful friends, so a million endless thanks to them!!

CT Scan

As for me, other than being super mom, driving the kids to and from school, cooking, cleaning, I'm doing ok, just a litte tired now that we don't have any nanny help. Now that Ethan's in kindergarten and Ellen is in full time preschool, and with no nanny help, I try to make all my doctor and scans appointments early in the morning.  Which means me getting up by 6-630AM and getting to Standford by 8AM every 3 weeks.  Everything is all planned around their school schedule or activities so I'm constantly busy. 

I just got a CT scan done just yesterday.  Like with every CT scan, I'm always nervous about the outcome of the results. I should find out the results soon and will post it this week. I just got a call that I'm also due for another MRI next month. My doctor still wants me to be on Tarceva, 150 mg still.  It's been a little over 2 months since I've been on Tarceva. I'm still hoping for the miracle power it will do to shrink the tumors away. But, I'm not sure if it's doing it since I feel my lungs ache a little and well, my back is starting to ache and everywhere in my body, its sorta hurts too. 

It's a struggle everyday to live with having this terrible lung cancer. Every breath I take, I feel the heaviness of the cancer in me.

New Drug, Denosumab

Today, with the help of my Dad who woke up early to drive me to Stanford, I had my first monthly shot of Denosumab injection (brand name Xgeva).  I'm scheduled to get this shot once a month every month. Since I have bone mets, this is used to prevent bone related problems in patients with cancer.  I didn't like Zumeta and so this is another drug alternative that supposed to work like Zumeta does. Like all medicines, the list of sides effects are worrisome and major too. Some of the sides effects include severe bone, muscle or back pain, swelling in hands, ankles, or feet and many others. I hope my body can tolerate this better and that this shot will help strengthen my bones.

Let's continue to hope and pray for positive results and continue good recovery.

Vacation Fun!

San Diego Fun!

We just got back from our family vacation from San Diego a few days ago and we all had a fantastic, fun in the sun time! Our humbled thank yous to all the donors from Jack and Jill Foundation http://www.jajf.org/ for their generous gift of giving us the WOW! experience of a lifetime. The kids had a wonderful time at LegoLand and Seaworld! It was Ethan's, Ellen's and Emma's first time flying on a airplane and they really enjoyed it. We stayed at the Sheraton resort located right next to LegoLand and it was an amazing, nice hotel.

We were also very fortunate to also have Jason, our Legacy photographer and his family meet up with us each day to capture all the wonderful moments we shared. I'm so thankful for him and his family to provide his talents of taking our family picture throughout this amazing experience.  I'm so glad that I had all the energy to spend walking around with the kids to all the theme parks. We did lots of walking and waiting in lines for rides and even after the days end, I still had the energy to spend more time with the kids, swimming in the pool. We can't thank Jack and Jill enough for arranging this family vacation for us. So, if possible, please help donate towards this incredible non profit organization so that more families facing what we're facing can experience a lifetime of great memories.

School Starting, Unpacking

Starting tomorrow, we can now finally start unpacking and moving into our new home! After weeks of staying at my brother's home, it's so nice now to finally be staying at our own place.  We're so thankful to him and his family for sharing his home with us. The kids absolutely loved staying there and had so much fun playing with their cousins. I'm glad we made the decision to stay with family as it gave us time to get closer and our kids to know each other more.  The kids will miss staying there and definitely will miss the company of their cousins.

This coming week is also Ethan's first day of kindergarten and also his start of his Sylan Learning. I hope he will enjoy his new school.

As for me, I'm super busy as always and feeling good. I'm still keeping up with taking Tarceva and of course still have the acne like rash. However, food tastes normal again and I am enjoying all the flavors of food again. Yay! I'll be getting a CT scan at the end of the month to see how effective the treatment of Tarceva is. So, here's hoping for the miracle that Tarceva will be! Let's continue to pray for the very best!

Update

1.5 Months on Tarceva

  By now, I've been on Tarceva for about 6 weeks and I'm feeling the effects of it.  Other than the acne like rash on my face and legs, I'm feeling a bit more tired and achy and my appetite is half it used to be. Still food doesn't taste as good as it used to. Most foods tastes more bland and starchy for me but I still try to eat on schedule or else I end up being super hungry and then run very low on energy.

I just saw my oncologist, Dr. Neal 2 days ago and he says so far so good and wants me to be on it for another 3 weeks. By the end of the month, I'm scheduled for another CT scan and we'll see how effective Tarceva is. I'm hoping it works and is the miracle drug that will shrink all my cancerous tumors away.

  So far since I've been on Tarceva, the fluid in my right lung chest wall has dramatically dried up! This is such great news for me as I've been hoping for this since April. It has dried up so much that all my doctors, Oncologist, Radiologist, and Pulmonologist all agreed it was time for me to remove the Pleurex cathetor that was inserted under my skin in my right side. I was very nervous about removing it as I worry about it possibly coming back up. I hope it doesn't and that I continue to get better and Tarceva continues to be effective.

Asking for more time

A few weeks ago, I met with an old friend who is an ER doctor and a patient of hers who was recently diagnosed with the same stage 4 non small cell lung cancer as me. We went out to lunch and it was really sad to see other Asian young non smoking moms like me have to endure the shock, anger, loss, sadness and numbness that you feel when you're suddenly given this dire terminal diagnosis.  I listened to her tell her story and treatment and its unreal that both her and I have this cancer.  There isn't a day that go by that I'm not sadden by my condition and like her, I'm still in shock as to how I got this terminal illness. The key question she kept asking and was mainly concerned about was time. How much time does she have? How much time do any of us have?

This question of time is really hard to answer as we all don't know how much time each of us have on this earth, sick or not. Life is fragile and nothing is for certain or guaranteed. But then again, when you're diagnosed with this terminal cancer, it's scary and the statistics are stacked against you.  Like her and many patients facing cancer, coping and going through all the treatments is scary. I worry about how much time I have too.  In my prayers, I'm always asking and bargaining for more time. I can't fathom ever having to say good bye to my precious kids and family.  It's hard to process and accept, but for me, I have to keep calm, have hope and stay positive. Hope and pray for the very best as well as plan for the worst.

I have to celebrate life and enjoy every moment as best as I can. It's hard, but I have try to live life as normal and as much joy as much as possible without allowing all the negative, sad emotions and worry overcome me. So, let's keep up our prayers and hope for the miracle cure!