Fun, Busy Holiday Weekend

Nice Seeing old Friends

First, I want to pass lot of thanks to my high school friends, Gabbi, Phoung and Wendy who coordinated this past Saturday, May 28 'Mini high school' reunion lunch fundraiser event. The event was a success with a nice small group turnout.  I was able to catch up with friends whom I have not seen in almost 17 years since graduating high school in 1994.  We exchanged contacts and caught up with what we've accomplished since then. So, thank you everyone for coming out. 
It went so well that we talked about having another bigger, more well planned fundraiser so that we can invite more friends to come out later, possibly at the same location.  It turns out that Sonoma Chicken Coup on Almaden is co owned by our good close friends who offered to support another fundraiser event! So stay tuned for another event.

Spending time with Family

With all the kids being sick this weekend, and having no nanny, luckily we live close to family that I was able to have my family help out.  We spent Saturday at grandparents and Sunday at my brother's place and then head to another brother's place for early evening BBQ. Even though they were not fully well, they still wanted to have some play time with their friends, so I even managed to squeeze in a play date with some good friends too late Saturday evening.  So, I am so thankful for having good family and friends to help us out since staying cooped up in the house all weekend can be closet phobic for the kids.

Update on part time Nanny
Well, with just a few days without a nanny, it made realized that it's just not possible for me to handle everything without some help. Even though I had good intentions, we realize it's not realistic nor healing for me to keep caring for everything while being so weak. So, acting fast and furious, I  quickly dialed my old nanny who had worked for us for 1.5 years prior to us moving to Cupertino, and got her to immediately to accept our offer to her of being a part time nanny.  She will help us time part time, 6 days a week for 4 hours a day.  Yay! I'm delighted to welcome her back. It's enough time to have her help me out prepare dinner, do laundry, clean up, give the kids a bath and for a little bit of down time.

Kids Outings, Summer Classes, Nanny Update

 Fun Outings, Play dates

Now that I've started completing many of my "To Do List",  its free up some more of my time to do so many other wonderful things. One of them is of course spending much more quality fun time with my kids with outings and play dates. This week, we took the two girls to Happy Hollow Zoo and park. They had a blast! It was Emma's first time sitting on rides on her own and she loved it! We saw a puppet show, ride the dragon train, ate outside in the nice summer weather, and had fun riding many rides, such as the carousel and others.

Since the kids are so social, I also plan weekly play dates for them.  It's nice that they love to play with other kids since this gives me time to catch up with friends as well. So, last week we had 2 dinner play dates. One was to a church friend's swimming dinner party and another day with our other friends at Santana Row.

Summer Classes

Now that Ethan is in full day preschool 5 days a week, Ellen says she is ready to go too! She absolutely loves singing, dancing, drawing, reading and playing with other kids her own age.  So, we've decided to enroll her too at the nearby Tiny Tots preschool program, part time, 5 days a week from 9AM to 12PM.  We've also enrolled her into a Saturday course called Princess Ballerina dancing class.  She is so super excited and anxious to go! Her program starts end of June.

Starting in June is also when Ethan and Ellen start their private swimming lessons at the nearby YMCA twice a week. Their class starts in the early evening right after Ethan is done with his preschool and has a bite to eat.  They can't wait! I hope they enjoy it and start developing some basic swimming skills since they love the water. Knowing how to swim is such a necessary life saving skill and I really hope they master it. If they do well, we will continue to enroll them in swim lessons until they become certified skilled swimmers!

Nanny Update
So with the two older kids in 5 days preschool, and I will be mainly caring for our youngest, Emma and Ellen after her preschool program, we decided that we may not need a full time nanny after all.  This will save us so much financially and I hope it works out. We have some back up sitters we have in mind just in case I do get overwhelm or tired on the days or evenings we may need help.  It's expensive for us to keep hiring our full time live in nanny. Besides, our live nanny doesn't fully fit ours nor the kids needs since she doesn't speak nor understand English, doesn't interact, read, teach or play with the kids nor does she drives. 

Hence, it's best for our older kids to be in an environment that continually offers opportunities to educate, inspire, sparkle and tickle their intellectual minds and interests.

Preplanning Done

Before my diagnosis, I thought I was invincible to any real major illness since all my life, I had lived such a healthy lifestyle having never smoked, never did drugs and was just always busy happily running around full of energy taking care of my kids.  I always thought, in terms of life expectancy that according to statistics, that women outlive men.  Never did the thought of preparing for the worse came across my mind at all.  I always thought I'd always be around for a long time to watch my kids grow into mature, successful adults.

Well, sadly, life doesn't always pan out exactly what we plan it out to be and unexpected things do suddenly happen. So, for the last few weeks, with gut wrenching sad and terrifying strength, I've been busy at work, dilligently preplanning my own end of life services and arrangements. Bravely I set aside my feelings of pain and hurt and put on a strong foot to boldly plan out every detail.  

My goal in doing all of this ahead of time is simple; to ease the burden, grief, confusion and to make this difficult time as easy as it can possibly be for my family as well as making sure I do not pass onto them any hefty financial price tag. Funeral services as I having just learned and researched, can be extremely quite expensive. There are also many details, prices, coordination and decisions to make.

So here are my final plans and arrangements that I have contracted on just in case anything happens. I see this preplanning as insurance and peace of mind; it's there when my family needs it.  I put alot of effort, research, made personal visits and decisively hand picked out these two places specifically because their location fits my personality, and offers services that fit my needs.

I remain faithfully ever hopeful that I will be here for a long time.  So, please continue to pray for us and for my continued recovery.

1. Prior to cremation, Willow Glen Funeral home professional services will ensure coordination of Buddhist ministers to do private "pillow top" viewing and prayers for small family gathering.

2. Willow Glen Funeral home will do all administrative permits and transport so that Cremation is done at Oak Hill.

3. Memorial Services to be held at Willow Glen Funeral Home http://www.willowglenfuneralhome.com/ to celebrate life.  The memorial service will also include Buddhist ministers from San Jose Buddhist Church Betsuin.

4. Picture slideshow to be done. Music will be "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton.
5. Vegetarian food and light refreshments will be served. Family/friends will have need to order this and for pickup and deliver to Willow Glen. Family/friends will deliver eulogy, recite poems, and share stories.

6. Final resting placement of cremation urn at Oak Hill in San Jose, CA, which a Buddhist minister will be present to do final prayers prior to burial. I've selected the garden setting and to be place on the dirt ground since this placement is with "nature" and all its beauty. There is even music that serenely plays in this garden.

7. It would be nice for family/friends to gather for dinner.

Chinese Herbal Medicine

Trying Chinese Medicine, Thuốc bac

For the past few days, I just had my first cups of home cooked, hand formulated  Chinese Herbal medicine. The taste is not as bad as I thought it would be. It tastes a little like Chinese tea mixed in with lots of bitter spices.

This all natural herbal medicine is specifically handpicked, researched and prescribed especially to treat my lung cancer, as well as help build or maintain my immune system with minimal side effects.  It is mixed by a very popular, well known, well sought after Chinese Herbalist, who only treats patients through family and friends referals. By chance, this well known Herbalist happens to be the Father of my brother's best friend's wife's sister or something within that small world circle of friends.
I am so thankful to her for warmly opening her heart to reach out and contact me and telling of the "miracles" of Chinese Herbal medicine that her Father has performed. Thanks to her, she was able to also help translate the one on one meeting with me and her father so that he can treat me.
I am at awed at all the wonderful cure stories that he speaks off.  He professes that he has healed many, many patients with his thoroughly researched all natural Chinese Herbal remedies that he has "cooked" up.  He has been practicing and treating this on himself, his wife, his family and many people, who have come to him pleading for help when all fails with Western medicines. 
His practice of Chinese Herbal medicine has always been his passion.  He offers his service freely with deep knowledge, devotion, love and desire to help save lives. The only costs he asks is reimbursement of the ingredients; many of which can be very expensive. For his expertise and wisdom, this is a priceless. I am in gratitude of her and her father's help.

I am excited and willing to give this a try in hopes that a miracle will happen or atleast expand my life expectancy to many more months or years. Nevertheless, I am optimistically cautious as Drs do advise that while  it can help repair and rebuild the immune system, it may also build up the "bad" cancerous cells.  The concern is that both medicines may counteract each other or that the Chinese Herbal medicine may reduce the effectiveness of the chemotherapy. I'm not sure if this is true since there hasn't been clinical research studies done to proove either theory. Aside from that, another point to consider is that by taking Chinese Herbal Medicine, it will add more processing work load on my kidneys .
So, I am a bit at loss and apprehensive at what to do. After taking it for the last 2 days, coincidentally, my lower back pain has been worse.   It got so bad that I had a hard time walking straight. The pain is managable today though.  However, I don't attribute this to the herbal medicine since the cancer has already spread to my bones. I've had this pain intermittantly before and so remain hopeful and a believer of the healing powers of Chinese Herbal medication. Afterall, Chinese Herbal medicine has been around for thousands of years and it has worked for many.  But for now, I'm considering pausing it for now and will give it a try again at some point.

Visit to Zen Center & Meeting with Master Shifu

 A Place of Tranquility and Peaceness
In my search for inner peace, hope and a place that offers Buddhism memorial services, I started to do visits or inquiries to a few of the bay area's Buddhism centers or temples. So, yesterday, I had my first visit to the Zen Center of Sunnyvale.  Since its inception in March 2004, the Zen Center "has been a refreshing spring for the spirit, welcoming people of all cultures and faiths or no faith. In a tranquil environment, people learn the ageless wisdom of Buddhism, discover the joy of meditation, and uncover the “Buddha Nature” within all of us."
I had lunch there and had a good one on one meeting with Master Minister Shifu, where I tearfully tell him of my great misfortune of having been recently diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and that I have three young kids to care for. As I try to regain composure and courage to be strong and unemotional, he listened kindly, calmingly and offered advice and services of what the Zen Center offers.  He tells me that there are certain formalities to do so first in order to achieve inner peace, to free the soul from a deceased body so that the spirit can move on peacefully to enlightment and or to its reincarnated place and that there are certain chantings to be done for eight hours the moment a person passes.  He says that he can't promise to a guarantee commitment that the Buddhist Ministers can perform a funeral or memorial service at the exact time of need due to pre planned commitments, but that they can work out some arrangement if needed so that this can be done.

We discussed a few other things as well such as some special ceremony that can be performed to welcome me into the Buddhism passage.  Most importantly, he tells me to not give up, to keep on fighting and to keep the will to live life to the fullest with as much normalcy and sense of peace as possible. He also gives me a gift; an electronic tape recording player of Buddhism's chantings to play as needed when I need to pray, meditate or have a need to refocus to regain inner peace. 
I thank him for his time and before I leave, I write down a wish for my full recovery, do a prayer as I light a candle to offer to the Buddhist God's, kneel and give thanks for all that I have.  He welcomes me to come back regularly for the classes or even next week to meet with the Acupuncturist to help relieve my back, hip and rib pain. What a great place this is, the Zen Center.

Results of MRI, Pastors Visit, Legacy Photos

Results of MRI

Just got the latest results from my brain MRI and it's good news!! The findings indicate "no acute intracranial hemorrhage, no areas of restricted diffusion" and that "previous seen enhancing lesions on previous MRI study are no longer visualized. No new enhancing lesions on current examination to suggest intracrannial metastases at this time." Hallelujah!  Wow, what fantastic news! Your continued prayers and support is working!  Thank you everyone.  Along with  my strong will, determination to fight, faith and with everyone's support, let's kick this cancer.  Let's keep holding our chins up.  Let's continue to pray for recovery and hope for remission.

Pastors Visits

For the last month, on a weekly basis, I've also been so grateful for weekly visits from Pastor Loc and Long. They come with open hearts to give us hope, love and strength.   Their blessings, readings and prayers to GOD, without question, has brought me the inner strength and courage to keep on fighting.   Reading psalms from the Bible, their prayers has given me a sense of rebirth and faith to keep on praying for the magical, mercy, healing powers of GOD. We went to the Sunday service this past Mother's Day weekend with the kids and found it was so nice. Thanks also to my brother who has brought a renewed sense of  faith and welcomed us to his church.

Legacy Photos

During our Sunday service attendance on Mother's Day, we were also grateful for a dear friend, Jason to accompany us along to be our photographer. Jason, who is a science teacher at Piedmont Hills High, recently contacted us to help take legacy photos of us and our kids. He kindly has offered his time and talent to continue taking photo journalistic pictures of us and the kids every few weeks or once a month so that we can continue to have hallmark, keepsake photojournalistic memories for the kids to view for years to come.  Thank you Jason for your incredible work and support! With these photos, I can rest assured that my kids will have a chance to forever remember me and celebrate all the moments I am here with them. He has already taken two separate photo sessions with us.  You can view the pictures at http://www.flickr.com/photos/62182317@N05/sets/72157626560630405/

Day to Day

As always, my days are filled with lots of love from my kids and even though I'm not working, I am busier than ever before. Everyday, I try to knock off a few things from my To Do List at the same time, upkeep with the day to day household and grocery/bills/tackling calls to medical billings/caring for my kids since they have all been sick/meals preparation and or Dr appointments. There so much to do and at times, I do wonder and worry on how and if my kids will ever be well taken care of when I am not here? How will things get done? There's no love like a Mother's unconditional love.

My love for my children is so great, it hurts so much that I have this terminal cancer. Even though I appear strong (and most of the time, I remain calm and strive for inner peace and courage to be positive), still there is'n't a day my eyes don't burn with tears and ache with sadness. But, only for a little while as I let out my emotions that I do pick myself back up and get back to striving for "normalcy" and rejoicing in the day.

For now, I have to categorically put these worries aside and continue to only hope for the very best. Let's pray for GOD's mercy and miracle.

Results of MRI, Pastors Visit, Legacy Photos

Results of MRI

Just got the latest results from my brain MRI and it's good news!! The findings indicate "no acute intracranial hemorrhage, no areas of restricted diffusion" and that "previous seen enhancing lesions on previous MRI study are no longer visualized. No new enhancing lesions on current examination to suggest intracrannial metastases at this time." Hallelujah!  Wow, what fantastic news! Your continued prayers and support is working!  Thank you everyone.  Along with  my strong will, determination to fight, faith and with everyone's support, let's kick this cancer.  Let's keep holding our chins up.  Let's continue to pray for recovery and hope for remission.

Pastors Visits

For the last month, on a weekly basis, I've also been so grateful for weekly visits from Pastor Loc and Long. They come with open hearts to give us hope, love and strength.   Their blessings, readings and prayers to GOD, without question, has brought me the inner strength and courage to keep on fighting.   Reading psalms from the Bible, their prayers has given me a sense of rebirth and faith to keep on praying for the magical, mercy, healing powers of GOD. We went to the Sunday service this past Mother's Day weekend with the kids and found it was so nice. Thanks also to my brother who has brought a renewed sense of  faith and welcomed us to his church.

Legacy Photos

During our Sunday service attendance on Mother's Day, we were also grateful for a dear friend, Jason to accompany us along to be our photographer. Jason, who is a science teacher at Piedmont Hills High, recently contacted us to help take legacy photos of us and our kids. He kindly has offered his time and talent to continue taking photo journalistic pictures of us and the kids every few weeks or once a month so that we can continue to have hallmark, keepsake photojournalistic memories for the kids to view for years to come.  Thank you Jason for your incredible work and support! With these photos, I can rest assured that my kids will have a chance to forever remember me and celebrate all the moments I am here with them. He has already taken two separate photo sessions with us.  You can view the pictures at http://www.flickr.com/photos/62182317@N05/sets/72157626560630405/

Day to Day

As always, my days are filled with lots of love from my kids and even though I'm not working, I am busier than ever before. Everyday, I try to knock off a few things from my To Do List at the same time, upkeep with the day to day household and grocery/bills/tackling calls to medical billings/caring for my kids since they have all been sick/meals preparation and or Dr appointments. There so much to do and at times, I do wonder and worry on how and if my kids will ever be well taken care of when I am not here? How will things get done? There's no love like a Mother's unconditional love.

My love for my children is so great, it hurts so much that I have this terminal cancer. Even though I appear strong (and most of the time, I remain calm and strive for inner peace and courage to be positive), still there is'n't a day my eyes don't burn with tears and ache with sadness. But, only for a little while as I let out my emotions that I do pick myself back up and get back to striving for "normalcy" and rejoicing in the day.

For now, I have to categorically put these worries aside and continue to only hope for the very best. Let's pray for GOD's mercy and miracle.

Fundraiser Saturday, May 28 · 1:30pm - 4:30pm

Please Come Support me
With the ease ability of Facebook's social connections, I've been fortunate to connect and comunicate with old high school friends. Since the knowledge of my terminal illness, my good high school friends, Phoung, Gabbi, Wendy and others have poured out their support not only through messages on Facebook, but they are also planning a lunch fundraiser for me and my family.   This is what Phoung have shared as a Public event on her Facebook page.  So, if you can, please check back for the specific place and come out and support us.  Although she has started out calling this a mini high school reunion, it is an open invitation to all friends to invite more friends to come on out to support me in this fundraiser.  The event is listed at http://www.facebook.com/fawn.lee1/posts/115238895227528#!/event.php?eid=211745818844079

Thank you Phoung, Gabbi and Wendy for coordinating this.

Time	Saturday, May 28 · 1:30pm - 4:30pm
Location	Sonoma Chicken Coop (corner of Almaden Exp & McAbee 5925 Almaden Expressway San Jose, California
Created By	Phuong Ma, Gabriela Carranza, Wendy Lady

Most of us know Fawn Lee as Phan Ly, from Sylvandale to Andrew Hill. Most of us grew up together and got into trouble together with Mr. Chau chasing after us for jumping the fences and getting a call from him at home. (ok, maybe that was just me?!)

Fawn has always been a good kid from what I remember. She was quiet and shy and always did well in school. 17 years later, things haven't changed much, she's happily married to Rick since 2005, I was there and had a grand ole time...and have 3 little children, I think Emma and I even share the same birthday!

Recently Fawn was diagnosed with late Stage IV lung cancer which spread to her bones. We're all praying for a miracle, but along the way, there are bills to be paid, children to be cared for and a wish to be granted!

Wendy and Gabi thought a fundraiser would be a great idea to help Fawn and her family out. We all hope you can join us for a mini high school reunion to catch up with old friends, and share our life experiences, and show Fawn, that miracles can not only happen, but we're there right by her side to see it happen for her and her family.

I hope you all invite more friends and let's get this ball rolling for her! She can't decide if they want to go to Disneyland or Disneyworld...I say shoot for the stars and if you land on the moon, that's pretty good. Whatever the case, I hope you all come and help us celebrate friendship and support Fawn and her family during this time of hardship!

Let's help Fawn kick this cancer's ass!

Phuong, Wendy and Gabi

Results of MRI, Pastors Visit, Legacy Photos

Results of MRI
Just got the latest results from my brain MRI and its good news!! The findings indicate "no acute intracranial hemorrhage, no areas of restricted diffusion" and that "previous seen enhancing lesions on previous MRI study are no longer visualized. No new enhancing lesions on current examination to suggest intracrannial metastases at this time." Hallelujah!  Wow, this is fantastic! Your continued prayers and support is working!  Thank you everyone!  I  am so blessed to have everyone's encouragement and support. Let's keep up the good thoughts and pray for continued recovery and hope for remission.

Pastors Visits
For the last month, on a weekly basis, I've also been so grateful for weekly visits from Pastor Loc and Long. They come with open hearts to give us hope, love and strength.   Their prayers, readings from the Bible and teachings have made us stronger and given us a renewed sense of faith in the healing powers of  God. Thanks to my brother for welcoming us to his church community. We attended the Sunday service this past Mother's Day and it was so nice. The kids also enjoyed it since there was music, food as well as a childcare/playground area.

Legacy Photos
Recently we are also fortunate to have met a good friend Jason, who recently contacted us to volunteer his photo journalistic service to us. He accompanied us to take pictures of us while we attended this past Sunday's service on Mother's Day. We're so thankful for him, a high school science teacher from Piedmont Hills High, to give to us his incredible talent and time to capture hallmark pictures of us and the kids. He has offered to do this once every few weeks so that we will forever have month by month timeless legacy photos to share, celebrate and treasure for years to come.  What a wonderful gift he has given us! With these photos, I can rest assured that my kids will always remember me and all the moments that I am here with them.  He has already taken 2 photo sessions with us. You can view the latest photos at http://www.flickr.com/photos/62182317@N05/sets/72157626560630405/ or at http://www.flickr.com/photos/62182317@N05/sets/72157626462362997/. So thank you so much Jason!

Day to Day
Even though I am not working, I have been busier than ever before! Everyday, between caring for the kids, Doctor appointments, completing the day to day tasks and errands, I try to at least accomplish a few things on my 'To Do List." My daily tasks and activities seems endless. There's always things to do and  upkeep of routine household tasks, like grocery shopping, prepping for meals, paying bills, tacking medical bills, picking and driving kids to and from places, planning,coordinating the kids extracurricular activities and such to complete. I'm trying my best to anchor all these responsibilities as best as I can, but I do stress and worry about how will these things get done when I am not here? How will the kids be well taken care off?  Who will be there to care best for the kids when they're sick while my husband is busy at work? My Nanny can only do so much since she's doesn't speak English nor can she drive. There's no love, like a mother's unconditional love.

My love for my kids is so great it hurts.  It's so unfair to the kids that I have this terminal illness. Life is so unfair as the saying goes. These thoughts saddens me. Even though I appear strong, emotionally, I'm all torn up.  There isn't a day where my eyes don't flood with tears and my heart aches with so much pain. But, as I pour my emotions out, I must only allow myself to drown in despair for only a few moments and then I have to pick myself back up and mentally, categorically put these these feelings aside and make every effort to live life to its fullest. For the kids sake, I have to strive for "normalcy", inner peace, courage to fight and rejoice in each moment.

Preplanning

Preplanning
With a little help from a volunteer who brought me pamplets of funeral and memorial service arrangements, I have started reading and setting up appointments about preplanning of my future funeral, cremation and memorial services. It's gut wrenching sad and tearfully emotionally terrifying that I am planning my own end of life services, but I have to these feelings of despair, hurt and grief aside and be strong. Birth and death are natural processes of life. Since my diagnoses, I've somehow

More Thank Yous, My Mothers Day

Thank you, thank you! 

Since Linda's updated story on me on last week's SJ Mercury News, http://www.mercurynews.com/bay-area-news/ci_17993467?nclick_check=1, I wanted to quickly send out a BIG shout out of THANK YOUs to her for beautifully writing my story and to everyone for your continued support!  I've would have written this thank you earlier but a nasty virus crashed my computer and ate up all my files. Thank you everyone, thank you friends, colleagues, family, community for your prayers, support, cards and positive notes! Special thank yous to everyone who sent us donations towards our medical and childcare fund costs. I am so humbled and strengthen by everyone's love and care.  From our hearts to yours, thank you so much!

My Mother's Day

Everyday as I spend more and more time with my kids, it's Mother's day everyday for me! Yes, really. The smiles, the laugher and even the grumpy, sick days when they're all so ill, all they do is cry, I still feel so blessed to be there for them! To me, it's being there for them, being here to care for them and to celebrate

everything with them, whether its good days or not, they still bring me so much joy. 

Its even better when I pick up Ethen from his preschool last Friday and he gives me a hand written picture card and tells me, "Happy Mother's Day Mommy!, Look here, That's Mommy and that's me, Ethan! I love you Mommy!" What a great gift it is to be a Mom! Its so wonderful to be there for them.

After visting my Mom during the day, with three kids in toe, we all went out to dinner! Ethan and Ellen absolutely loves to go out and dine out nowadays. Here's to many many more Mother's days and dinners with them.  Happy Mother's Day to all the Mother's too!

My Health Update

MRI
Today, I will be getting an MRI of my brain done. With localized aches on my head, some headache and slight descreased vision changes, my doctors wants to be cautious and catch anything early on. My Dad will be taking me since its a long drive. I'm nervous...let's send out prayers and good thoughts and good energy that they will find nothing.  I did get an MRI done 2 months ago and they saw something, but nothing conclusive to be concerned or serious that needed treatment. They even did a lumpar punture where they drew fluid from my lower spine and the resuls came back negative.  So, let's hope for the best and what I'm experiencing are just side effects of Chemo.

Results of CT scan
My doctors are happy to tell me that so far with just 2 Chemo treatments, the latest CT scan shows "overall decrease in disease burden" and "decreased overall peri-bronchovascular nodularity in both lungs." Yay, what terrific news!! The overall prayers and support from everyone is helping!  Let's continue to pray for more good news!
But the bad news is that they found  a "new solid ground glass in lower lobe measuring 5 mm in left lung, possibly inflammatory or infectious, need attention and follow-up".  Hopefully it's nothing serous and will improve by the next CT scan in two months.

My Health history
With no family history of lung cancer, I went on searching back on my health records to see when this may might have occured.  So I got in touch with the earliest and only CT scan I had gotten in my college years, in 1997. The faxed report resulta at that time indicated that everything was normal.  "Thorax is normal, heart and mediastinum are normal. There are no active pulmonary infiltrates." Everything, "vasculature pulmonary is normal. No active cardiopulmonary disease."
Since 1997, I had been feeling well, other than the having the flu like coughs and cold that came and went.  This cancer, in hindsight hid itself well.  It disguised itself behind the usual winter colds and grew stronger with each passing year.  My doctors thinks I might have had this about 5 years ago which unfortunately since I then, I was either pregnant or breast feeding that it was hard to detect early on until now.

More Chemo
So far I have had 3 chemos. With my bone metastases, my Doctor is planning to add a 4th chemo, called Zometa.  Reading about it states that "When cancer has spread to the bone, treatment with ZOMETA helps to protect bones and may reduce or delay such as bone fracture."  I am not sure about this though since it does come with lots major side effects and it "has been known to cause kidney damage."  This is scary. The 3 Chemos that I am on now are already wrecking havoc on my immune system and making me weak and tired already. I'm just not so sure about adding a 4th one on.

Overall, I'm doing pretty ok with chemo. I have times throughout the day where I feel awfully weak and tired but I still try to live each day as normal, functional and as full of life and hope as I can.
Let's continue to hope for the very best and for full remission!

Getting Things done!

My Goals are getting Accomplished!
Nowadays, time is of the esscense! I waste no time and treasure every little moment and make decisions very quickly to get things done.  Before when I was working FT and taking care of the kids, I'd always sort of put things of for another rainy day or would procrasinate at the last minute.  Now, it's ready, set, action and go get them done!

So here's what I've already gotten done so far.
1. Ethan just got enrolled in a great Full Time, 5 days full days preschool. His education is so important so we can't compromise it. We tried to home school but its very hard and distracting for him.
2. Kids are all set with their immunizations and will be updated with dental cleanings too!
3. Hubby is also done with physical check up and will get chest x-ray done since he has been a smoker.
4. Kindergarten enrollment is in the works for Ethan since we just moved to this area for 1 month.
5. I've started preplanning service for my own memorial service. Just need to do some reading and calls to arrange what packet, location and prices. Hope to get this done soon.
6. Ethan and Ellen are enrolled in 2 days per week swim lessons at the nearby YMCA! They can't wait to get started!
7. Nanny is working out great!
8. House hunting is in the works too!
9.  Applications for assistance and to Dream Foundation and or to Jack and Jill are in pending completion from my Doctor.
10. College Coverdell education and savings account completed for all three kids! All donations will be divided equally among all three towards their education, lessons and or childcare costs.

Lots of Thanks!

 Lunch with old Edify Friends
Today I had lunch with some old friends at Maggiano's and it was such a nice time to see them! I haven't seen some of them for almost over seven years since I worked there! Edify was my second employer since graduating from college in 1998. We had a grand old time catching up. We plan on seeing more of each other again. What an honor to see them all!

Quantum Pendant

Here I am wearing a gift from my dear friend Liz.  It is a Quantam Pendant. It "produces scalar energy, promotes positive flow of energy that has become weak and restores energy that has become weak in the body." Thank you Liz for thinking of me. I will continue to wear it at all times.  Go healing powers! Let's fight off my cancer!

Thank you so much to Seagate Friends!

Today, my current boss,Nathan, from Seagate stopped by for a visit.  He brought us cards, shared with us everyone's incredible offers of support, love and kindness as well as delivered us some financial donations from everyone at Seagate! 

We are so humbled with the outpouring of hope, help and support from everyone! Thank you so much!  Thank you Nathan for gathering this fundraiser in our honor to help with medical cost and or with the care of our 3 kids. We are so touched and blessed to have received so much love from everyone! We will put this towards our kids care and or start a fund for them. Every little bit helps and we are so greatful! Thank you EVERYONE! I'll keep on fighting to beat this cancer.